Turning around.

Lately I have felt that I am personally in a slump.  I don't know why exactly that I feel this way, I just haven't felt like myself.  I've been kinda depressed and mopey and I know that it has been concerning my wife.  However, I think that I had a bit of a breakthrough last night.  We had a rehearsal for Sunday worship with TuEternity.  Usually, this rehearsal time is a relaxing/stress relieving time for me, though for some reason, last night seemed different.  I came away from rehearsal very tense and high strung.  To me it felt like people in the band were merely arguing for arguing's sake.  Unfortunately I know that I did my part to contribute to these arguments.  Last evening found us doing song that we are not used to doing with the musicians that we had on and I was a bit snippy if we did a part of a song incorrectly, but that is beside the point.  As I went to work later that evening, I thought long and hard about the way rehearsal went as well as where my life has been going and what I am doing with it.  Repentance is the beginning of the road for me.  I know that I can't be perfect, but I know that I have to try.  I need to turn away from any sinful and/or lustful thoughts that I have; I need to work hard to control my anger over the little things in life, they're not worthy of causing that rift in the relationship that I have with Jesus.  One of the big ones that I have to work on is loving my enemies.  How does that work?  You mean Jesus, that I have to care for the people in my life that make me so angry and so livid that I just want to scream?  I think that is exactly what I need to do.  Again, I know that I can't be perfect, but I think that taking that first step is so important.  Last night while at work, the opportunity came out of nowhere for me to minister to a coworker who I otherwise would have called a mean name and walked away, instead I chose to speak God's word.  The timing was not right for him, so he turned and walked away.  However, hearing God's word come out of my mouth in the situation strengthened my heart and helped my floundering spirit turn around.  I pray that I have the will power to continue my repentance, though again, I know I'm not perfect, but God's love for me is.  Hopefully if you are reading this, it makes some sort of sense to you what I'm saying.  For me it is kinda just coming straight out of my head without any sort of filter or grammar check, just a veritable free flowing thought pattern.  Thank you for allowing me to vent my thoughts about where my spiritual journey is at in my life right now.